I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize