didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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