brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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