Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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