there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
