i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
