Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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