is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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