He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
