How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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