Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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