I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we're making bets on your personal life
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
