Its about making memories worth repressing
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
