I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize