If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
