He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
