Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
