I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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