Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
