just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
