YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
