White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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