so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't turn off my feet"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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