you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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