Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize