U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
