Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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