No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
