do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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