I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
