For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
