Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
