remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize