He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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