susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
