Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
