wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
