I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
