everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm passing your future prison.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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