You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
