so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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