today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize