I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm too high and old for this...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
