I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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