...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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