she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
