she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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