I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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