I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
