Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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