You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
