id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
