Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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