vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
