Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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