You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize