I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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